Vicki Stewart

Our beautiful Beta fish, Lapis, breathed his last ragged breath a few minutes ago.  He was with us for almost two years and as much as I tried not to get attached to him, I have to admit that I did.

Like most Beta’s, Lapis was a very social fish.  He would swim up to the surface of the water whenever we would approach his tank, and he spent many hours keeping my daughter company, watching her draw and do her homework at her desk.

This past weekend, Lapis stopped eating.  A few days later, I found him lying on his side at the bottom of the tank and watched as he darted up to the surface for a breath of air and then fall back down onto the gravel.  Realizing how much energy it was taking him to get to the surface of the water; I moved him into a small glass bowl with a few inches of water and placed the bowl on the desk in my office.  That seemed to help a bit, so while I worked, I was able to watch him, talk to him, play music for him, pray for him and let him know that he wasn’t suffering alone.  Then I found myself shaking my head and saying, “What the heck is wrong with you?  It’s just a fish!  Pull yourself together!”  Even my friends gently teased me about how I was carrying on about a dying fish.

But this wasn’t just about a fish. It was about an intensely magnified look inside of my heart and my daughter’s heart.  And it was a very hard look and a painful lesson for us both.

For my daughter, it was a lesson in compassion and the realization that fish need care and attention, just like any other pet.  You can’t just shake a little food in the tank every night and turn out the light.  They get diseases, they get sick and Mom can’t fix everything.

For me, it was a lesson in understanding a limitation in my daughter. I wanted her to be more upset seeing her pet in distress.  I wanted her to care MORE.  I wanted her to cry.  I wanted her to be the more compassionate form of me that I wasn’t.

Then the realization hit me.  Children learn compassion from the people around them.  They’re not born with it.  And no matter how many times you try to help them understand, they may not hear you.  It won’t be because they don’t want to; it will be because they don’t know how.  And she didn’t need to be the more compassionate form of me.  That was my job, my cross to bear.

So, I wept for Lapis.  And while I apologized that we didn’t do a better job caring for him, I promised him that his suffering wasn’t in vain. That he brought value to our lives in the form of a lesson in love.

I don’t know if animals have souls or not.  I’ve heard the arguments both ways. I do believe that since God created them here on earth, then they will also be with us in heaven.  I pray that in the meantime, I will continue to grow in my walk with Him and learn how to better exemplify that unending, amazing, compassionate Grace that He extends to us, every day.

Lapis, thank you.  We will miss you.

Sometimes we don’t have the luxury of being able to make decisions like whether we should or shouldn’t do something.  Instead we’re forced to play the cards that we are dealt.  Tori would be one of those people.

Introducing the book teaser for ‘Guardians of the Chosen, Book Three in the Tori Cooper Novels’:

Lucifer chuckled and replied, “Oh, our game isn’t of this earth, is it Remy?  Have you not told dear, sweet, little Tori about our game?”

Remy gave Lucifer a pained expression and said, “This isn’t a game to me, brother!”

Shooting one final glance over Remy’s pleading face, Lucifer smiled slyly and turned back to Tori with narrowed eyes.  “Watch your back,” he whispered, and then he was gone.

When someone tells you to watch your back, you should probably take the warning into serious consideration.   When the warning comes from the devil himself, it’s pretty safe to assume you can never, EVER let your guard down.

There’s only one rule in Satan’s game.

1.  There are no rules.

What’s a great way to ring in the new year?  How about an official unveiling of the cover for Guardians of the Chosen?Stay tuned for an announcement when the next book will be available on Amazon!

Happy New Year!!

Here we are, the first week of December and the countdown to Christmas is well underway.  Between Black Friday, Black Friday Weekend, Cyber Monday which somehow transformed into Cyber Monday Week, merchants everywhere are providing as many opportunities as possible to help you with your holiday shopping.

While I was reviewing my Christmas list earlier today (yes, I realize that means I was checking it twice), I wanted to make sure that I had the appropriate gift matched to its respective recipient.  The last thing I wanted was for someone to receive a gift they wouldn’t appreciate.

Then I found myself thinking about Tori and Piper and the gifts God gave to each of them.  In the beginning, neither of them knew how to fully appreciate their gifts and instead of being thankful and sharing them with those around them, they tried to hide them.

Tori’s gift of second sight enabled her to find the spirit of her sister Aubrey, which is giving Tori, her sister and her parents the opportunity to be a family again.  It’s also allowing Tori to be both the voice and the source of peace for the spirits of the victims who would otherwise remain unheard.  Once she realized how many people she could help and not to be afraid, she learned to embrace her gift and share it with others.

And when we were introduced to Piper, we saw that she had a very colorful personality – but we had no idea she was hiding a secret as to just how colorful she really was!  It wasn’t until she saw Tori in danger that we discovered Piper can see auras and knows if someone is evil without even speaking to them!  Wouldn’t that be a nifty gift to have?  Like Tori, Piper learned that sharing her gift with those who appreciated it, made her feel more thankful to have it.

So, taking a cue from my two favorite girls, my goal this Christmas is to think about the gifts God has given to me, find ways to honor Him, be thankful and share them with others.

Merry Christmas!

If you read my July 12th blog entitled, ‘Bacon LOVES Bourbon (Yes, it really does)’, you may recall my comment about an experiment I was trying by dedicating a portion of my herb garden to a few scorpion and golden habanero pepper plants that I started from seed back in February.

After I planted the little seedlings in my garden and I saw how well the plants were growing, I decided to add a couple jalapeño seedlings to the mix as well.  Needless to say, as you can see from the picture, my experiment was a fortuitous success!

So in honor of our lovely Tori and her passion for spicy, hot food, I dedicated this past Sunday as ‘Cooking Therapy Day’ and set the house on culinary fire.  By the time the dust settled and I finally surrendered, the fridge was fully stocked with ‘Scorpion Pepper Salsa’, ‘Sting of the Scorpion Tail Chili’, ‘Jalapeño & Parmesan Dressing’ and last but not least, a sweet and spicy batch of ‘Golden Habenero, Bourbon and Pear Jam’.  All of which got a hearty two thumbs up from my family – and a plea for a glass of milk to extinguish the fire!

And for my faithful readers and fellow foodies, as a sneak peek into book three, there will be a night when Ben officially debuts the ‘Sting of the Scorpion Tail Chili’ which of course means, the recipe will be in the back of the book for you too!

I promise it will be worth the wait.